Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
