he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
