you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
