I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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