wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
