There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Randomize
