I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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