4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
