u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
