Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
