woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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