your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
