Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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