Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
