Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I think my moral compass just broke
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
