come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
