He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
