we're blogging at a bar
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
