Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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