Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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