The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
