I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
