Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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