Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
