I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
