Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I can't turn off my feet"
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
