i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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