went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
