sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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