I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
