all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
