I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
