Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Farmville is her only friend.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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