look no pants
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
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