what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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