at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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