She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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