Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
