so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
