yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
