dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
