the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
