this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
