I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
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