she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
