I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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