if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
