i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
