I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
