thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
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