"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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