Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
