Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
