just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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