dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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