great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
