how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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