weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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