I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
