genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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