Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
