Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Randomize
