I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
