THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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