Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
