I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
