what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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