Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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