In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
