Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
