we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
you inspire me to be a worse person
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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