Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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