i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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